Reading manga is one of those enjoyable activities that doesn’t require socializing, and you bet my hikikomori self will latch onto it like a koala. However, as I’m quite contradictory, I also believe that I can get the most out of it if I interact with manga fandom discourse, either by sharing or lurking.
The latter, I’ve been doing for years. I regularly log on Reddit and Tumblr to read reactions and insights from strangers in hopes that their takes will enhance my enjoyment and enrich my understanding of the work (One Piece fans offer plenty of incredible, mind-blowing analyses!).
Unfortunately, the internet is a jungle, and not everything I’d find is edible. I would scroll down my feed and read something so positively juicy, then suddenly get slapped with the vilest, most poisonous post ever conjured by man. The latter elicits in me a wide range of emotions, mostly ugly ones, from annoyance to disappointment to sadness to anger.
My stubborn nature wouldn’t allow myself to give up lurking for good, though. So I devised ways to keep on navigating manga fandom discourse while ensuring that it won’t ruin my fun. The good news? They’re working so far. Here are the steps I take.
Step 1. Identify Your Surface Triggers
Before you can handle strong emotions, it would help to know what triggers them first. I did this by catching myself whenever I felt discomfort reading a fan’s post and listing the type of content I found jarring.
My list expands or shrinks now and then. Here are some posts that had consistently twisted my guts in angry knots in the past years:
- General whining and nit-picking
- Dismissive comments about the art and the characters
- Disrespectful comments on fans and authors
- Hate pieces and everything from the haters’ side of the fandom
- Takes that glorify favorite characters at the expense of other characters (especially if the latter are my favorites)
- Anything to do with power scaling
- Self-projecting takes that ignore the story’s big picture, themes, and through lines
- Holier-than-thou takes related to shipping and character preferences
Generally, I dislike it when so-called fans spout negative things just because, with no evidence or rationale to back their claims. Condescending and know-it-all people also grind my gears.
Step 2. Understand the Why’s of Your Triggers
Now that you know what type of posts get on your nerves, it’s time for some introspection. Meaning, you need to be more specific — get to the bottom of things by asking yourself “why” repeatedly.
I said earlier that I dislike posts that downplay characters especially if they are my favorite, but what about it do I hate particularly? Let’s look at a scenario:
Me: I’m irritated because the internet stranger is saying bad things about my favorite.
Also Me: Okay, why?
Me Again: My favorite isn’t lame and stupid! I need to defend him from this misguided, uncultured so-called fan!
Inner Me: Okay, why do you want to defend your favorite character? He’s not real.
Me, getting angrier: Because the internet stranger needs to understand that he’s wrong and I’m right and I have better taste than whoever the heck they are!
Other Me: Why do you suddenly sound like you wanted to defend yourself rather than your favorite character?
Me, realization dawning: Oh.
This is an abridged version, but you get the idea. When I catch myself getting angry and ask myself “why” multiple times, I realize that I usually feel that way when I take things personally. In retrospect, it’s funny because the internet stranger doesn’t know me at all. Why should a passing comment that isn’t even directed to me affect me?
Once you understand that much of what you feel can be traced back to your insecurities, you’d learn to ignore 90% of fandom non-sense, and instead channel your energy to knowing and improving yourself.
Step 3: Learn to Recognize the Triggers Early and Ignore Them
Once you know what triggers you and why, you can sniff them from miles away. That’s more than enough distance to prepare yourself to just avoid them.
I had taken my list-of-things-I-don’t-like to heart, and that helped me create a system where I would limit myself to one sentence when reading a post. If I don’t vibe with that one line, I’d skip the whole thing.
Sometimes I would get a 50-50 vibe from the first line and decide to read on. And when some parts of it aren’t something I like, I would apply the next step.
Step 4: Look at Ideas Critically, Whether You’re For or Against Them
When the post contains sound arguments but you dislike some parts of it, it’s time to wear your thinking cap and look at it in a critical light. Doing so will encourage you to pause and use your brain, which is better than allowing unpleasant emotions to take over.
I usually do this step for lengthy takes I found on Tumblr and blogs, assuming that the internet strangers who created these posts put some thought into them.
What I do is understand each idea unit and dissect it. I ask questions that come up as I read, assent to or refute statements, figure out subtext, and summarize. It’s like doing a book review.
By the time I finish, my app’s time limit will have already barred me from using the channel I’m on. That means I wouldn’t be able to scroll further and risk absorbing negative vibes. That also means I have something to muse about and write in my journal, which is more worthwhile.
If my musings end up eviscerating the internet stranger’s arguments, it’s only for me to see. I don’t need to inflate my ego by going up to the poor fellow and telling them they’re wrong about their post and risk sparking an online debate. I read manga to please myself and find kindred spirits, not fight strangers because of it.
I discuss my opinions with loved ones who are also fans, but only because I know that it’s safe. Talking to people I care about compels me to drive the conversation so we can arrive at an understanding, not one-up each other. No dramas and misunderstandings, just sharing our love for the work.
Step 5: Post Your Opinion, but Prepare for Backlash
If you think your insights and counter arguments are worth people’s time, don’t hesitate to post them! All hail freedom of speech!
But I’d suggest you post them on your personal account, not as a reply to who you think is the offending party. (At least, it’s one of the choices I constantly make when venting my frustrations about the fandom. I dislike conflicts, even with people I can’t see.)
And once you put your thoughts out there, expect that some people will give you hell for it. To handle the risk, remember two things:
- If it’s a troll comment or anything included in your I-hate-these-posts-list, go back to Step 2.
- If it’s a sound comment that was well put and respectful, apply Step 3. Then thank the internet stranger for sharing their thoughts. Perhaps highlight some of the things you agree with. Then stop.
For the second tip, I believe I don’t need to cite things I disagree with when replying. My commenter and the average reader-lurker will get that I’m not agreeing with everything that’s said. Trying to deepen the thread will risk me losing my cool, and I don’t want that.
However, I understand that a little courtesy can go a long way, especially when the internet stranger took their time to respectfully share with me their thoughts. It’s possible to agree to disagree without blowing up my post like a dramatic Twitter thread, and this is my way of ensuring that.
I also remind myself that I post stuff to free my fangirl mind of stuff, not to argue with strangers. I could learn from them, thanks to their different perspectives, but I wouldn’t dream of fighting them.
Step 6. Revisit the Reasons Why You Love the Work and Use Them as Your Anchor
Stay rooted. Establish the reasons why you love the series and go back to them when you feel your enjoyment waning because of the fandom’s toxicity.
Giving brain space to everything you read online is unhealthy and mentally exhausting. Pay attention to those that align with your anchors instead so the deluge of opinions won’t sway you.
When I encounter people who mock me for the things I enjoy, I would always remember that one time when I felt so ashamed of myself for doing the same thing to a kind, unsuspecting fan.
I had long left that old, pathetic self behind and told myself that internet strangers ridiculing me is simply my punishment. And I would accept that penalty with grace — by responding with care or not responding at all.
Step 7: Focus Your Attention on Creative Channels
When the fandom discourse gets too much for your sanity, take a break. One of the best ways to divert your manga obsession away from lurking on discussion forums is to create. In my case, that means making fan art or planning fan fiction plots that would never see the light of day.
Expressing your love for a series need not always be direct. Subtly turn your obsession into something other people can consume or even purchase. Who knows? You might grow your following and earn from doing what you like!
Step 8: As the Internet Slang Goes, Touch Grass
Remember that fiction isn’t real. Your favorite character is a 2D drawing, and their world doesn’t exist.
So when your fandom affects you so much that you cease to function like a normal person, be reminded that you still got a place to turn to called the real world. Once in a while, get out of your head and step outside where there’s sunshine and trees.
The Wrap Up
I always tell myself that manga, and fiction in general, is something that should enrich my life. It is not my life. I can be so obsessive with the things I love, but I’ve learned to contain my tendencies well.
Leave your phone and apps on your desk, go out there, and marvel at the very real, very tangible beauty around you. Your next take on the latest One Piece chapter can wait for a week or two.
